albany USA review

Lead with “I” statements and mention the positives

Lead with “I” statements and mention the positives

For example, if you’re simply not attracted to the person’s body or have an issue with their family, it’s almost always best to keep that information to yourself. In that case, a white lie might be the kinder course of action.

Most of the time, it’s a good idea to simply state the reason you’re no longer interested in seeing the other person using kind but unambiguous language. Identify your unmet needs, e.g. freedom, a committed relationship, time to yourself, etc., and then communicate those reasons to the other person.

“If you stop for a moment and dig deep into why this relationship isn’t going to work, there is likely a kind, honest and compassionate reason. That’s what you want to express to the other person,” offered Brigham.

A great way to make sure you don’t leave the other person feeling at fault for the breakup is by using “I statements.” This is a way of shifting the spotlight from your partner’s possible shortcomings to your own needs and experience.

“Consider the difference between ‘I’ve been feeling super overwhelmed and exhausted at work when we keep having these late night hook-ups’ versus ‘You’re taking up too much of my time and keeping me up too late.’ It’s harder to argue with the first statement since it is the speaker’s personal experience,” explained Senterfitt.

“‘I’ statements keep the focus on the speaker rather than pointing the finger at the other person and are less likely to lead to defensive responses,” she added.

It’s also a good idea to start the conversation by mentioning what you’ve enjoyed about spending time with the other person. This is the perfect time to bring up their stellar sense of humor, infectious positivity, or even how much you’ve enjoyed the physical side of the relationship.

“Share with them the qualities you see in them and why you enjoyed spending time together…